The Ministry of Road Transport has proposed a revolutionary new law that classifies honking as a form of "musical expression" requiring a Performing Arts Licence. Under the new rules, auto rickshaw drivers will need to demonstrate their honking technique before a panel consisting of: one tired traffic cop, one random cow sitting in the middle of the road (mandatory presence, no exceptions), and a retired classical musician who was only there because his daughter told him to get out of the house.

"Honking is an art form," declared the Transport Minister, demonstrating a particularly aggressive double-tap on his car horn. "If Pandit Ravi Shankar needed practice, so does Suresh from Vasai." Auto unions have protested, calling the exam "elitist" and demanding that the random cow be replaced with a more understanding animal, like a goat. "Goats understand the-ups-and-downs of urban life," reasoned one union leader.

Residents of Gronk City, where the average traffic jam lasts longer than most Bollywood movies, have reacted with cautious optimism. "If I have to hear one more person honk at 3 AM in a traffic jam that hasn't moved since Tuesday," said one sleep-deprived citizen, "I will personally ensure their Performing Arts Licence is revoked. Along with their will to live."

grossHopper notes: "The real solution is staring us in the face — be annoying without making any noise. Half the country's already mastered this on LinkedIn. The other half is honking at 3 AM in a traffic jam. India doesn't need a licence to honk. It needs a licence to shut up."