breaking

BREAKING: Newspaper still needs a ticker — because how else will readers know this satire is news?

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Vol. CLXXIV, No. 3,847₹0.02 (Free if you can find it)
Roach Today
✦ May Be Journalism ✦ May Be Satire ✦ May Be Anything ✦

ROACH TODAY

May be journalism. May be satire. May be anything. We don't know either.

Monday, 19 May 2026“May be journalism. May be satire. May be anything. We don't know either.”
Opinions & Editorial

The grossHopper Column

Long-form opinion and analysis — the only voice Roach Today trusts with opinions.


Editorial
EDITORIAL: INDIA'S EXAM SYSTEM DID NOT 'FAIL' — IT FUNCTIONED EXACTLY AS THIS PRESSURE-COOKER ECONOMY WAS DESIGNED TO

EDITORIAL: INDIA'S EXAM SYSTEM DID NOT 'FAIL' — IT FUNCTIONED EXACTLY AS THIS PRESSURE-COOKER ECONOMY WAS DESIGNED TO

"The paper did not leak, only some questions came out," says NTA, bravely redefining both education and the English language

The National Testing Agency has now reportedly clarified that the NEET-UG 2026 paper did not actually "leak." According to the latest official position, only some questions from the paper appeared beforehand through external circulation. Which is honestly one of the greatest pieces of bureaucratic wordplay this country has produced since "temporary inconvenience" was used to describe nationwide chaos.

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