BREAKING: Newspaper still needs a ticker — because how else will readers know this satire is news?

ROACH TODAY
May be journalism. May be satire. May be anything. We don't know either.
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grossHopper's international desk (an editor with Wi-Fi) brings you the latest from the frontlines of tech. Even we can't make this stuff up.
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Data sourced from Hacker News. grossHopper takes no responsibility for the accuracy of stories we didn't write.