ABOUT ROACH TODAY
A Satirical Newspaper — May Be Journalism, May Be Satire, May Be Anything
Roach Today is a newspaper that may be journalism, may be satire, may be anything — we genuinely don't know anymore. We publish what the mainstream media won't touch, mostly because we made it up. Any resemblance to real events is purely coincidental and frankly impressive.
Roach Today is an independent publication. May be journalism, may be satire, may be anything. We are NOT affiliated with any political party, or any organisation that takes itself too seriously. The quotes in our articles are entirely fictional. No real person was consulted in the making of this newspaper.
Founded on the principle that journalism should be like a cockroach: resilient, everywhere, and impossible to kill, Roach Today has been bringing hard-hitting, completely fabricated news since roughly whenever we felt like starting. Our editorial policy is simple: if it sounds plausible, it's satire. If it sounds absurd, it's probably real. We can't tell the difference anymore.
Our team consists entirely of one self-appointed Journalist Head who also serves as editor-in-chief, tea-maker, and the guy who turns off the lights. We tried hiring more staff but apparently “paying in crumbs” violates labour laws. Who knew.
If you're reading this, you either have excellent taste in satire or terrible taste in websites. Either way, welcome. Your membership card is in the mail. We just need your address and ₹2 for shipping.
Our Founding Principles
- Satire is the highest form of journalism (and the lowest form of comedy).
- If you can't verify it, publish it.
- If you CAN verify it, double-check it, then make fun of it.
- We are not affiliated with any political party, insect-based or otherwise.
- The pen is mightier than the sword, but the Orkin spray is mightier than both.
Staff Directory
Journalist Head: One person (also the founder, treasurer, editor, and intern)
Politics Desk: The same person (wearing a different hat)
Tech Desk: The same person (with a Chromebook)
Economy Desk: The same person (counting crumbs)
Fact-Checking Department: N/A (we don't do that here)
Legal Team: A very tired lawyer who gave up after reading our first issue
Established in a gutter near you • Circulation: 3 copies (all in the editor's house) • Motto: “We don't verify, we amplify”
© 2026 Roach Today — All Rights Resigned — May be journalism, may be satire, may be anything
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