The Indian Parliament was adjourned for the 47th consecutive session today, as opposition members staged a walkout over an issue they couldn't quite remember. "We were protesting something very important," said one MP, consulting his phone notes. "Oh right, it was the colour of the new Parliament curtains. No wait — the colour of the old Parliament curtains. Actually, we're just opposed to curtains in general."

The Speaker, who has now spent more time saying "House adjourned" than actually conducting business, was seen browsing Zomato for lunch options during the two-minute session. Staff members have reportedly started a side hustle renting out the Lok Sabha hall for weddings, birthday parties, and one memorable corporate offsite. "The acoustics are phenomenal for baraats," said one event manager from Raita Colony. "And the Central Hall? Unmatched for sangeet nights."

Meanwhile, grossHopper has filed a petition demanding that the Parliament building be converted into a wedding hall full-time, arguing that at least then someone would get some use out of it. "They've had AC since 1952 and still can't pass a bill," grossHopper noted. "Rent it out for sangeet nights. The country's longest-running joke deserves a stage." The petition was adjourned.